An expose of the she soul selling business in the style of Robert Johnson.
I needed money, so I enquired about selling my soul to the devil, just like Robert Johnson did. But the bastard Devil offered me only 99 cents! For my soul. So I decided to see what God was offering.
God offered me a ham sandwich.
“What kind of bread is it made with?” I asked God.
“Whole wheat,” replied God.
“Are there preservatives in it?”
And God proceeded to rattle off a list of ingredients that included hydro gluten, sodium bicalcitate and various emulsification agents and other molecular scoundrels.
When God finished reading the ingredients of the whole wheat bread package, I told him, “I’ll get back to you.”
Let’s see… for my soul, the devil offers me 99 cents…and God offers me a ham sandwich.
I decide to put off the notion of selling my soul. I’m keeping my soul! It’s not for sale. Nothing worthwhile is for sale.