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  <a href="/blog/blog/101407/mental-pudding-is-what">Mental Pudding is What?</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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  <div class="message"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Geneva; ">M</span><span style="font-size: medium; ">ental pudding is absurdity’s cousin. It is very obtuse. Not really a solid or a liquid. <br>
Maybe it's a gas? Why, certainly. A natural gas.<!--StartFragment--> </span>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p><span style="font-size: medium; ">Mental pudding flies in the face of those who take themselves too seriously. Those who believe their shat hath no stank. </span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p><span style="font-size: medium; ">A daily dose of mental pudding plus an apple keeps the mailman away. <br><br>
The first example in today's lesson is the Purple Bloatino, which requires little if any explanation. Not only is this extremely stupid, it is also incredibly cheap. <br></span><span style="font-family:Geneva;color:black"><br><a href="/files/42316/purplebloatino.mov"><span style="font-size: large; ">The Purple Bloatino</span><br><br></a><p></p></span>
<!--EndFragment--><iframe width="560" height="349" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Jo0n6QtQ190" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> <br><span style="font-size: medium; ">The Hammer Dance was executed in Arlington Heights, Illinois in honor of Dance Anywhere Day 2011. Motorists were exposed to mental pudding in large doses.</span><br><br><embed src="http://blip.tv/play/AYKN5WwC" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="300" wmode="transparent" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed><br><span style="font-size: medium; "> "I Doktor" was either way ahead or way behind its time: 1982. We actually snuck in to an NBC network affiliate studio one Sunday night to shoot this mentalpiece. No expense was spared on the props. In order to actually conceive and write this tune, I must have been overcome by a bout of mentalpudding.<br><br>
And be sure to download the Mental Pudding anthem. Be patient as there is a rather long fade up.</span><br type="_moz"></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2011-05-31T10:40:00-05:00" title="May 31, 2011 10:40">05/31/2011</span></p>

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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/100779/space-migration">Space Migration </a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
</h2>

<div class="post">
  <div class="message"><p class="MsoNormal"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Geneva"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></font><span style="font-size: large; ">Who says</span><span style="font-size: medium; "> that humankind has but one home—planet earth? <br></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
Throughout modern history, thinkers like Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking have been alerting us of the need to have a “plan B.” </span></p><p></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">Mr. Hawking, the brilliant physicist with A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig’s disease), believes we need to have this plan by 2110. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Geneva; font-size: medium; ">Space migration, anyone? </span>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/ad75eb69fc70095c7b29a30e8d9422dd0bd9f484/medium/Stephen-Hawking.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="300" width="300" /><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> <i><span style="font-size: small; ">"Our only chance of long-term survival is not to remain inward-looking on planet Earth, but to spread out into space."<br><br></span></i><p></p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/cbf01549b738a12d6dbc6fc19d3ae70fa9a58d99/medium/Hawking-floating.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="200" width="300" /><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> <i><span style="font-size: small; ">“The human race shouldn’t have all its eggs in one basket, or on one planet,” states Hawking.</span></i><p></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> <br></span></p>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><br></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium; ">Makes sense to me. If we care about the survival of our species, we must consider <i>Space Migration. </i>That's the title of a song I wrote in the early 1980s. </span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p>
<span style="font-size: medium; ">The song idea was actually provoked by Timothy Leary in his post-LSD phase. He equated the extra terrestrial migration of humans with the Christopher Columbus “lurch” of the 15th century.</span><p></p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: medium; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/d5e7b45fea7dfc0c4947fae2644dac5f869d4246/thumb/timothylearysfinger.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="125" width="91" /></span><br></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: small; "> Timothy Leary was not noted for conventional thinking. When has conventional thinking ever progressed the species?<br></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left; ">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: small; "> <br></span></i><span style="font-size: medium; ">Look where civilization is today. Could our ancestors have guessed that Friendster and MySpace would lose popularity so quickly or that Twitter would grow so rapidly? </span><span style="font-size: medium; ">20 years of modern change might now be the equivalent of 1,000 years of civil evolution during the first millennium. Who can guess what we’ll look like or behave like in a hundred years? Colonizing a different planet is not outside the realm of possibility.<br></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br></span>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><i><span style="font-size: small; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: medium; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/1bc26940cf1a0ff4b724770a6b944d2d4fda1cb1/medium/saturn.jpg?1378181224" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="152" width="300" /></span><br></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: small; "> Will Saturn be assigned a zip code?</span></i><p></p></span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; "> Before 15th century explorers began to prove that the world is round, the typical dark ages dimwit was pretty skittish about unknown encounters on the high seas. There was a general fear of sailing right off of the flat earth. <br><br>
An equivalent fear today is what awaits in deep space. The concept of our species migrating to another planet or a different galaxy unsettles the couch potato. </span><span style="font-size: medium; ">It does not comfort, like the idea of going to heaven. But let's be fair. Over the years, Heaven (with a capitol H) has received better PR than space . Space Migration might benefit from capitol letters and an ad campaign: <i>Space, Home of the Angels</i>. (Note: Mr.Hawking does not believe in heaven, a notion he equates with a fairy tale. Damn scientist!)</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/ff4733f1daba01778ec6790dca70edd6c6c55d63/original/M81Galaxy.jpeg?1378181224" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="148" width="192" /><br></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> <i><span style="font-size: small; ">M81 Galaxy is a mere 11.6 million light years away.<br></span></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: small; "> </span></i><p></p>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
This song, <i>Space Migratio</i>n, is not nearly as heavy or mystical as said subject matter. It's from the viewpoint of a guy who has quite simply had it with earth and all its mundane bullshit. When the verses and choruses are done, the song uses a playground taunt that my daughter once chanted. <br><i>The boys go to Jupiter to get more stupid-er<br>
The girls go to Mars, to get more candy bars</i><br><br>
This a definite headphone song. It is a song I hope you will enjoy while still on this earth.</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p>
<span style="font-size: medium; ">Exquisite engineer/mix/soundscape by Mitch Rosenow. </span></span>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> <img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/119372b297743c54a5e68c20dc94e63e8e7240c5/medium/mitch.jpg?1378181224" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="225" width="300" /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><br></span></p><i><span style="font-size: small; ">Mitch believes in the beach</span><span style="font-size: medium; ">.</span></i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Geneva;color:black"><p></p></span>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2011-05-24T10:15:00-05:00" title="May 24, 2011 10:15">05/24/2011</span></p>

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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/98364/staring-at-a-screen">Staring at a Screen</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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  <div class="message"><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">Staring at screens and digital distraction is a recent challenge to our ability to focus.<br><br>
We humans have needed to focus from the beginning of time. Stay focused, stay alive. Picture the hunter of 20,000 years ago, poised with spear, waiting for prey. <br type="_moz"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><font face="Geneva" class="Apple-style-span"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/ba4d0e15cd4924ed114992fd048d5bdb2664bedd/original/spear.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="140" width="202" /></font></b></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><font face="Geneva" class="Apple-style-span"><br></font></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><i><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; ">The hunter’s gaze fixed, unwavering. <br></span></span></span></b></b></i></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-size: large; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; ">Today</span></span></b></b></span><span style="font-size: larger; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "></span></b></b></span><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "></span></b></b><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; font-size: medium; "> w</span></span></b></b></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; font-size: medium; ">e have different prey. Our focus is no longer fixed upon a </span></span></b></b></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; font-size: medium; ">a sabre tooth ungulate or a</span></span></b></b></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; font-size: medium; "> herd of Mylodon. It</span></span></b></b></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; font-size: medium; "> is more often fixed upon a screen.  We don't use spears but instead we use our thumbs. We tell everyone what we like, using our thumbs and other digits. We select an emoticon to quantify our mood. We lol. We take family pictures and post them for the world to see. <br><br>
And I, who have always used technology yet at the same time been a bit skeptical of it, am trying to figure out how the recent change in mass behavior, the recent change in our gaze, is affecting me. And us. <br><br>
It seems like everybody's staring at a screen.<br type="_moz"></span></span></b></b></span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><p><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/3633029d63984449b5cb19bb97127ad007367a92/original/girl-checks-herscreen.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="100" width="142" /></p></span></b></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><i><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; ">Today's youth enjoying a quiet moment before <br>
commenting on what they've just seen on their screens.<br></span></span></span></b></b></i></span></span></span></p></span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/4a4afcad6c035830f1b7c451003895774ecffe02/medium/3screenstaring.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /></span></span></span></b></b></span></span></span></p></span></b></span><br><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-size: large; "><b>W</b></span><p><span style="font-size: medium; ">hen we are in the company of others, our small screen often takes precedence. The screen can be more important than the human flesh in the room. </span></p></span></span></i></span></span></p>
<b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><br></span></b><font face="Geneva" class="Apple-style-span"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/3fee1bd9c828dc27bc712a349f74aedc3a42536d/thumb/smallest-screen.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="87" width="125" /> </font></b><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p></span></span></i></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p></p></span></span></i></span></span></p></span></span></i></p><p></p><p><i>Screens come in a variety of sizes. Each size provokes staring. The smaller the size the more intimate the sta</i></p><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p></p></span></span></i></span></span></p></span></span></i><p></p><p><i>re. </i></p><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "></span></span></i></span><br><br>
When I say that I'm a skeptic regarding technology, I mean that I am not an early adapter. I do not stand in line at the Apple store for the latest holy gizmo. But I am not a trogolodyte. I've enjoyed the challenge of making this website. It's more a case of not being consumed by technology. I prefer being a consumer rather than being consumed. I use technology but I also get satisfaction from a trowel. A finely made trowel. The trowel gives me less frustration. I do not feel that I am perpetually behind the curve when it comes to trowels. <br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
Healthy skepticism is an essential part of society. </span></p></span></span></i></span>I try to imagine previous skeptics who have questioned each new level of mass communication—stone tablets, scrolls, books, telephones, televisions and now internet tablets. Who was the dude that questioned scrolls? <br><br>
My hope for our species, is that we cling to some of the non-virtual aspects of daily life. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; ">What a marvelous planet we live on. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> Get too wrapped up in digi-mania and you may lose the ability to ponder. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; ">Pondering is a wonderful pastime</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; ">.</span></p></span></span></i></span></span></p></span></span></i></span><br></span></p></span></span></i></span><br></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/de76eed516d7a3b1249c405f29b0f4d46bbfb269/medium/double-crestedCormorant.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /></span></b></b></span></span></i></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><br></span></b></b></span></span></i></span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><b><b><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><i>A Double-crested Cormorant spied on a recent walk along the San Antonio River.</i></span><br></span></b></b></span></span></i></span><br></span></i><span style="font-size: medium; ">The song, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><i>Everybody's Staring at a Screen,</i></span><span style="font-size: medium; "> was partially instigated by a </span><span style="font-size: medium; ">friend's suggestion that I write a song about Facebook. The first line came easily: “Everybody’s staring at a screen.” Then another line: “Everybody wants to be my friend.” </span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p><span style="font-size: medium; ">These lines sat on my computer for months. Usually my lyrics begin on paper but this subject matter seemed to call for a screen. Eventually, I fooled around with a riff on my guitar. Kind of a march-y punky beat, a bit of exasperation on the part of the protagonist, and finally the song was born.  A slight detour from a song bout Facebook but in the same vicinity</span><p><span style="font-size: medium; ">.<br></span></p><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
Nearly two years passed before I recorded the tune with Geoff DeMuth, an excellent guitarist and curator of musical knowledge. Geoff used guitar sounds to enhance the subject matter and mood of the song.<br></span><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> <br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 12px; "><p><span style="font-size: medium; ">I realize that you have been staring at a screen to read this so the joke is on me. </span></p></span></span></i></span><br type="_moz"></span></p></span></span></i>
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<b style=""><b style=""><span style="font-family: Geneva;"> <img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/a3934a118a91dffe79ebe4e5f6e86c7871e6cae1/thumb/RB-stares.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="94" width="125" /><br></span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family: Geneva;">Enjoy the song!</span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family: Geneva;"><br></span></b><span style="font-family: Geneva;"><p></p></span><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Geneva"><br></font></b>  <!--EndFragment--><center></center>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2011-04-26T10:25:00-05:00" title="April 26, 2011 10:25">04/26/2011</span></p>

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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/97906/cordless-autofeed-screwgun">Cordless Autofeed Screwgun</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">When I produced Tool TV, the nonsensical yet no nonsense tool review television show, I needed to create songs about tools. In about 1997, the Senco company had introduced the first commercially available cordless autofeed screwgun. That tool name had a very lyrical quality. And the tool was practical: plenty of power but no lousy cord to get tangled up in. What a great tool to brag about! Seemed a natural to write a song from the viewpoint of the guy doing the bragging. <br></span></p><p></p><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
For dramatic tension we needed a female POV. She’s skeptical about the tool and she couldn’t care less about the guy who is singing about it. He truly believes, though, that his tool will impress her. He believes that a way to a woman’s heart is through his tool. Or something like that. </span><p></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">That is the genesis of Cordless Autofeed Screwgun, the song.</span><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black; "><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/47ebeb1ebf840c097426fd83bd69558c4ad86572/medium/cordlessouthouse.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="275" width="300" /></span></span><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black;"><p></p></span>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black; "><p> </p></span></span><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black;"><p></p></span><span style="font-size: medium; ">The video stars Stan Drabowski and Ginifer King, who each made plenty of appearances on Tool TV. It was shot on the near west side of Chicago by Count Randolph Von Reisen. I scouted the neighborhood the week prior. On shoot day we careened around the neighborhood in a van, hopped out, turned on the boombox for lip sync purposes, shot a scene and jumped back in. The entire shoot took 4 or 5 hours.</span><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black; "><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/58642bdf6e97c2cf85b76bedd8eb0fea90a3ab17/thumb/cordlessduo.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="125" width="91" /><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; "><p></p></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></p><p></p><span style="font-size: medium; ">I directed. Paul May edited. Thanks to Laura and Ruthie for wardrobe and makeup! Chuck Kawal played lead guitar and engineered. Recorded at Chicago Trax. Available on</span><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-family: Geneva; color: black; "> <a href="./songsoftooltv.cfm">“The Songs of Tool TV.</a></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: medium; ">  <!--EndFragment-->  <object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/KFFvTRWrodc?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US">
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Play this loud!</span></div>
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/96974/the-cable-marketing-man">The Cable Marketing Man</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
</h2>

<div class="post">
  <div class="message"><span style="font-size: medium; ">          Take one part extraterrestrial satellite, one part coax cable, a dash of telephone pole, a herd of pole climbers, a slew of ex-telephone company employees, a row of satellite dishes pointing to the CATV  heavens...add a bunch of salesmen, a few visionaries and voila`—Cable TV For You and For Me. <br><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:
normal"><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'; ">        Cable</span></b> was a big deal in 1980. It was the hot new medium. Everybody’s life was going to be changed by it. Everyone could have his or her own public access program. Everyone could communicate his or her own vision to the community. Local access, baby! The electronic hearth! We would no longer be fed viewing choices dictated solely by big media corporations. <br><br>
          For those who thought TV was a wasteland filled with crap, well, we could now begin to make our own crap. On shoestring budgets. I made mine at Sunflower Cablevision in Lawrence, Kansas. It became a laboratory of the absurd. Here's an example that we made in my home one day over lunch break. <object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Oz-QTFoElj4?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US">
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true">
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always">
<embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/Oz-QTFoElj4?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object> <br><span style="font-size: medium; "><p></p></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
You might actually be familiar with this. Another example of extreme low budget nonsense with a $14 budget.<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/z1YLXsx8_vA?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US">
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true">
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always">
<embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/z1YLXsx8_vA?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object> <br></span></span><i>Dip Head actually made it to "America's Funniest Home Videos." <br>
Directed by Dave Clark. Featuring Rusty Laushman. I get concept, writing credit. We did this after work one day at Sunflower.</i><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-size: medium; "> <br><br>
          I was the self-appointed Marketing Director at Sunflower. Originally I had been hired to sell advertising time on the local Kansas Jayhawks and Lawrence Lions delayed cablecasts on Sunflower 6. <b><i>That</i></b> is a high-powered ad sales position! But I wanted to expand beyond selling ad time so I suggested that I be named the Marketing Director. That had a nice ring to it. GM Dave Clark had no objections, which he rarely did, so I was now a cable marketing man. <br><br><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df55HcDo4Wk&amp;feature=related"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/8acb50fcdac9390d54094aa620afb7802d11f6b8/medium/cablemarketingman.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="230" width="300" /></a></span></span>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; font-size: 12px; "><i><span style="font-size: smaller; ">The Cable Marketing Man <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df55HcDo4Wk&amp;feature=related">Photo by Dave Clark</a></span></i></span><br><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/499c5024780984909a3edcdd4f115c4a175187f9/medium/rogerdavesunflower.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="230" width="300" /><br><i><span style="font-size: small; ">Sunflower GM Dave Clark &amp; I cementing a deal. <br>
The concept of HBO for Christmas was real groundbreaking stuff.</span></i><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#0000EE" size="2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10px;"><i><u><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: medium;"><br></span></font></u></i></span></font></span></span>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><br>
          </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">Like every situation I find myself in,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "> this new cable arena was ripe for songs. Below is my singing resume,  "I'm the Cable TV Marketing Man." This video <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span">enjoyed a certain vogue at various cable conferences and annual meetings. It aired a number of times on WTTW's (Chicago) <i>Image Union</i> and KTWU, the PBS station in Topeka( thanks to Gerry Cullen). Directing credit to Dave Clark, the only cable GM I ever knew who could also edit and direct.<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/G4mDpXdfAaI?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US">
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true">
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always">
<embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/G4mDpXdfAaI?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object> </span></span></span></span>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><i><span style="font-size: small; "><br></span></i><br>
            During this time frame, Ted Turner, the industry's star, had been making his move. He was brash. He rubbed broadcast execs the wrong way. He told them that they were doomed. He was a cablecaster not a broadcaster. It wasn’t just television anymore. It was the delivery system and the promise of what could develop because of this new technology.</span><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i><br></i></span> </span><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt"><p></p></span></span>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size: medium; ">In 1982 I attended a seminar in Atlanta hosted by CNN for local cable companies. When we broke for lunch, sitting at one of the dining tables was The Man—Ted Turner. I slid into the seat next to him. "Hi, Ted. I'm Roger Bain from Lawrence, Kansas." "Hi, Roger. Excuse me while I take a bite of my sandwich." The guy was frenetic, freewheeling, juiced up on his own self, full of swagger, and worried that we were going to get blasted into the Stone Age by a nuclear firestorm. (Reagan had been rattling the sword of late, creating a feeling of dread.)<br></span><span style="font-size:14.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i><p></p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span">Ted had just returned from a trip to Cuba where he’d hung with Castro. He told me that Fidel was also mighty nervous about the world situation. That stoked Ted’s own nervousness. "If Fidel's worried, I'm worried." (This was probably the time when the cable mogul began thinking of buffalo ranching.)<br><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Geneva; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/ef1eb3a556c9938cf497f602d2725f296a00e4d6/medium/Me-Ted-Turner.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="225" width="300" /><br></i></span></span></b></span></span></span><span style="font-size:14.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><p></p></span></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Geneva; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-size: 14px; "><i><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">Ted puffs on a recent gift from Fidel Castro while<br>
I get in a word</font></i></span></i></span></span></b></span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; "><span class="Apple-style-span">          After the CNN seminar meal, which consisted of variety lunch meats and cheeses, tomato slice, lettuce and condiments, including pickle, Ted lit up one of Fidel’s cigars and told me with a wave and a puff that Castro had actually cut a CNN promo but Ted couldn’t air it because of a guaranteed backlash from the Miami Cubans. "This is Fidel Castro and you're watching CNN."</span></span><font class="Apple-style-span" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br></span></i></span></font></p>
<span style="font-size: medium; "> <span style="font-size: medium; "><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">          I wrote many theme songs and promotional ditties while at Sunflower but they are mainly on 3/4" videotape, alternately melting and freezing in my attic. Here's one that has been salvaged. </span>Television Isn’t the Same Anymore</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><i> </i>is a brief song that features the guitar of Mitch Rosenow and mystery background vocals. Mitch recorded this around 1980. I can't recall if we used it for anything. </span></span><span style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i><br></i></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i><p></p></span></span></span>  <!--EndFragment-->
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/95404/thanks-mister-banks">Thanks Mister Banks</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
</h2>

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  <div class="message"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>This is the story of how my one and only 45 RPM record came into being. </b></span><br><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">Baseball was the obsession of boys across America in the late Fifties.I started playing when I was about five. It became my life for the next ten years.</span><br><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">We played some form of baseball after school when it was not freezing cold out, then all day long every day during summer vacation.<br><br>We played street baseball with a tennis ball. Every kid in the neighborhood played, from the smallest to the least coordinated. Even the nerds. Both genders. Baseball is what kids did.</span><br><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">We played home run derby with a whiffle ball. (The strike zone was the lower half of the aluminum storm door on the front step.) We played catch with a hard ball. We played pickle or man-in-the- middle. We went to the diamond at the park and played “Peggy-move-up.” I rode my bike to Little League games with my glove hanging from a handle bar and my cleats tied together and dangling around my neck. (I'm middle row, 2nd from right.)</span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/2f80a9a1107ef9ab74b821bb1166132b2973df8a/medium/cubs-littleleague.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="233" width="300" /><hr><span style="font-size: medium; ">We played Pony League and American Legion and summer high school league.  (I'm tall one with glasses in back row.)  </span><br> <p> </p><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/bae70775a8b8d3a23fd72204f6f34347128d6b42/medium/hinsdale_pony_league.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="209" width="300" /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">The most popular major league heroes were Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays. But in Chicago, they had competition—number 14 on the Cubs, Ernie Banks. </span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/4d5d5d2b224c20add1c13912e14e98518dd7eb2f/thumb/images-1.jpeg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="125" width="94" /><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">         Ernie had an ethic that captured the spirit of the diamond game. His enthusiasm about baseball inspired us. It matched our own. We watched him on the Lead Off Man on WGN-TV. “Let’s play two today,” proclaimed Ernie. We didn’t know his salary. Or where he lived. Or if he was married. We just knew he loved to play baseball. Like we did.<br>         Ernie couldn’t have weighed more than about 170 pounds. He got around quick on the ball. His home runs were line drives into the first few rows of the left field bleachers. I have heard the trivia statistic that all 512 of his home runs were hit to left field.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; ">         In 1959 my Dad took me to Wrigley Field to see Mister Banks in action, a year that Ernie was MVP. The Cubs probably lost. There were no expectations at all in 1959. Cub fans did not yet perceive what a long road laid ahead. We didn't expect the Cubs to make a run for the pennant and they lived up to our expectations.</span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/114156aded2166076bdfb1f540d5f979a6680dc8/original/images.jpeg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="177" width="127" /></p>
<hr><p class="MsoNormal">         <span style="font-size: medium; ">Turns out that also in 1959 my eventual wife, Linda, actually lived just a block away from Wrigley, at Waveland and Racine.  Before and after the games she set up a Kool Aid stand on Waveland Avenue with her brother and her cousins. Maybe I passed by her stand? And maybe we noticed each other? .</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> <br>Here she is with her cousins on Easter, the Wrigley scoreboard in the background.</span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/e65767190806c8e360827a351b8ddbca0caa1254/medium/littlelindawrigley.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="431" width="300" /></p><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">          I attended a lot of games in the 60s. Jumped onto the field one time after a Cubs victory in about ’66 or ‘67. My flight from over the left field wall—this was before the retaining basket fence was put up—was a beeline to the box seats next to the Cubs dugout. Fans pulled me off the field before the Andy Frain ushers could tackle me.</span><span style="font-size: medium; "> My friend Tom had preceded me and actually slid into second base just seconds after the final out. He declared himself to be safe but was escorted to somewhere beneath the stands. The cops let him go, though, because that day the Cubs had climbed into first place. The crowd was ecstatic! </span>
<hr><p class="MsoNormal">         <span style="font-size: medium; "> In 1979 I had been writing songs for at least a half dozen years. Ernie Banks, my favorite baseball player of all time, seemed a natural song topic.</span></p>
<p> </p><i><span style="font-size: medium; ">All summer long</span></i>
<p> </p><i><span style="font-size: medium; ">When I was a kid</span></i>
<p> </p><i><span style="font-size: medium; ">It seemed about the only thing that I did</span></i>
<p> </p><i><span style="font-size: medium; ">Was play baseball and follow the Cubs</span></i>
<p> </p><i><span style="font-size: medium; ">My middle dresser drawer filled up with bleacher ticket stubs</span></i>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">           A $6,000 workman’s comp settlement from the year before had been burning a hole in my pocket. (Result of a broken ankle in a van crash on the way home from carpenter gig.) My wife suggested that it be a down payment on a house but we never gave that serious consideration. Instead, I would record Thanks Mister Banks in a real studio.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span style="font-size: medium; ">The Exceptions studio was in Topeka, my favored city to mock and ridicule. The recording sounded pretty nice. In fact, everyone thought it sounded great! This was my first time recording in a professional studio. Recording cohorts included Mitch Rosenow, Jaisson Taylor and Ardys Blake.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;">           So I took a cassette copy to Chicago. One of my Dad’s friends was a cameraman at WGN-TV. My Dad suggested that I give it to him for a listen. The cameraman was impressed and he passed it to Roy Leonard, the midday host on WGN radio. Roy liked the song and aired it, giving me a plug. He played it again the next day. WGN was the biggest radio station in the entire Midwest. Because I was clueless in these matters, I told Roy not to play it anymore until I could get a record out. What an idiot! You never keep a radio station from playing your song!</span></p><span style="font-size: medium; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/f528f05cf079d514f7febae10a07a71bef555cd3/thumb/Roy-Leonard-2.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="125" width="94" /><br><span style="font-size: smaller; "><i>Roy Leonard</i></span><br>          Meanwhile, a friend of a friend gave me the number of a record promo guy who worked for one of the bigger Midwest distributors. He was impressed that Roy Leonard had played the song. This promo guy encouraged me to press 10,000 45s. </span>
<p><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/94760d5f14fceca4891db3d8dc833a8bd43edfb4/medium/thanksbleacher-pose2.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="381" width="300" /><br>(photo by Joe Amari)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           <span style="font-size: medium; "> I went back to The Exceptions studio and recorded Weather Girl as the flip side then sent word to Mr. Leonard that I was ready. He said he would premiere Thanks Mister Banks on opening day, about three months after the initial two airings. So I pressed 10,000 45s. And I greased the promo guy's palm with a couple fifty dollar bills, which I imagine he snorted. What else he did I'm not sure.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/182064f9e7a3769c3598931e4c1cbf8df2e6b22e/original/record.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="148" width="148" /><br>Note the Barking Gecko label.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           <span style="font-size: medium; "> Sure enough, WGN Radio invited me to attend opening day 1979 plus an invite to Roy’s live broadcast before the game. His guests that day were Ernie Banks and Ron Santo. When Roy spun the record, I was in an adjoining booth, watching through the glass. Ernie stood up and danced. He waved his arms and bopped around. An enthusiastic guy! Quite a thrill for me to watch my boyhood baseball hero dancing to my song on one of the biggest radio stations in north America on Cubs opening day!</span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/a6cc432898db01756183e2e4934cab3268d16ce6/medium/ernie-me.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="225" width="300" /></p>         <span style="font-size: medium; "> Ernie declared it to be “disco,” which it wasn’t. But disco was the current craze so this may have been Ernie’s way of saying he liked it. He was definitely smiling, like always.<br>          I was not a fan of disco and was a bit puzzled that  Ernie could be so wrong about his tribute. But Ron Santo saved the day when he told Roy and the listeners that old American Bandstand line: “I’ll give it a 98. You can dance to it!”   Ron had witnessed Ernie dancing to it.</span><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">            I was introduced to various WGN executives, each with white hair, a reddish face and a large desk. If you were casting for a white guy executive spoof movie, this is where you would go—WGN. I was handed a box seat ticket and off I went to Wrigley. I have no recollection of the game or who won. It was cold.</span>
<hr><p class="MsoNormal"><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">          The following week, when I called Roy Leonard to ask about more airplay, he confessed that he liked the original mix on the tape better than the 45. He wouldn’t be playing it again. Actually, I think it may have been more a performing rights situation. I had registered the record with BMI licensing and I don’t think WGN paid a BMI license fee. They were a talk station.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">            I made the rounds at Chicago radio stations, getting appointments with program directors and attempting to schmooze. Handed $50 to a couple of them—at the suggestion of the promo guy.<br>          I was lousy at payola. Most stations played it once or twice and that was it. A couple of months later, the promo guy told me that it had been played for three weeks on morning drive at the Number One station in Rockford.  </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/c82592009118c7432c5a3d4862c7d14f3aec86b7/medium/thanksbleachers.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="225" width="300" /><br>(photo by Joe Amari)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">Of the 10,000 45s pressed, I still have a few hundred. Want to buy one? The others may have been melted down for their wax.</span></p>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/73970/her-last-night-in-paamul">Her Last Night in Paamul</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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  <div class="message"><p><span style="font-size: medium; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/77bd45f09008adb8baf3d6c5404f8b71b13f0c4f/medium/paamulstreet.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /> <br>The ex-pat community of Paamul, Mexico is a collection of snowbirds who live in semi-permanent, thatch roofed RVs parked on streets that criss- cross the scrub jungle right up to the Caribbean Sea.<br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/1003cf0f9779a1700c6e64842fa17e25428101ef/medium/P1030731.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /><br><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span">Few residents appear to be employed. Living off savings, pensions, winnings, inheritances, Ponzi schemes or social security, each has found a way to escape the miserable North. </font></span><br><font class="Apple-style-span" size="3"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/b37c3b973c674e56d71d0a1e817732e3b4ee8aa2/medium/paamultrailer.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /><br>        </font></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span">  In a camper community of gringos living on the Caribbean it is no stretch to say that a few residents are a bit whacked out. And last year in Paamul, one got permanently</font><font class="Apple-style-span"> whacked out. The perp was a husband. The victim, his wife. <br>           This is a true crime story that has become legendary on the Riviera Maya. When first told to me by a retired couple who live just down the coast from Paamul in Puerto Aventuras, I jotted down the details in my journal. Right then, I knew this had to be documented as a song. <br>          When I returned to the states, I sat down with my guitar and a legal pad and the song came together. The entire process probably took two weeks. I often write in snatches. The facts I lay out in the tune are just the beginning of the grisly story. There is even more. Just ask some of the folks who permanently live in the area.  There is endless gossip, speculation and conjecture about what really happened and the circumstances that lead up to it. But a song can't be a Vanity Fair article. It would last 45 minutes. An opera maybe? Hmmmmmm. (Note: you will have to listen to the song to find out what happened.)<br>           <font class="Apple-style-span"> When my wife first listened to the recording of </font><i><font class="Apple-style-span">Her Last Night in Paamul</font></i><font class="Apple-style-span">, she ripped off the headphones during the 1st chorus and declared that I was sick and this song is sick and it should be destroyed. "Is this what Martin Scorcese's wife would say to him?" I countered. </font>Are there subject limits for songs? Not that I can tell. There is a folk tradition of murder songs. </font> <i><font class="Apple-style-span">Stack 'O Lee</font></i><font class="Apple-style-span"> was a murderer. </font><i><font class="Apple-style-span">The Ballad of Jesse James</font></i><font class="Apple-style-span"> ends in his murder by the coward Robert Ford.</font><br><br><font class="Apple-style-span">          Recently I performed a live version of </font> <i><font class="Apple-style-span">Her Last Night in Paamul</font></i><font class="Apple-style-span"> at an intimate gathering in a Puerto Aventuras condo. The couple who had related the tale the preceding year now sat with their cocktails waiting for the entertainment. So I perform the song accompanied by my Baby Taylor. The reaction: It seems to bring smiles, nods of approval and laughter, which must be because of the twisted subject matter. Sometimes you just have to laugh. </font><br><font class="Apple-style-span"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/21214d9d856489071161b0331660bc1eb7621259/medium/mebabytayloronpatio.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /><br><br>Back at the condo gathering...I switch gears to some livlier, more uplifting tunes like </font> </span><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span">Checkouthemother</font></span></i><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span"> </font><font class="Apple-style-span">and </font></span><i><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span">Spoil Your Wife</font></span></i><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span">, which I later preformed at Cafe Ole, a great local music club/restaurant run by some friends from a different lifetime. (Lots of Paamul details can be had here.)</font><br><font class="Apple-style-span"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/c847a7d4d4a8fb54526bdd47f33607305af46f3c/medium/playinwunderthepalap.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="202" width="300" /></font><br><span style="font-size: small; "><font class="Apple-style-span">Performing with the house band Under The Palapa at Cafe Ole. Gary and Gaylita's place.</font></span></span><br><br><span style="font-size: medium; "><span style="font-size: medium; "><font class="Apple-style-span"><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/6221e05c8211fe4f5ad27615eb2755db8a79c92e/medium/paamulbackstretch.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /><br><span style="font-size: small; ">Stretching my back before lunch at Paamul's acclaimed restaurant.</span><br>This recording is from December 2010. Thanks to Geoff DeMuth for the stellar pedal steel playing and for his engineering and Miles Davis beer. He enjoyed making a twisted recording but that doesn't mean he's twisted.<br><br>Also--please remember that anything you say to me might turn into a song.</font></span></span><br><br type="_moz"> https://soundcloud.com/roger-bainbrain/her-last-night-in-paamul</p></div>
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog/blog/94730/patagonia-on-my-mind">Patagonia on My Mind</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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<div class="post">
  <div class="message"><div><span style="font-size: medium; ">There is something stirring about a big, wild, untamed place. </span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "> </span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; ">I have always been bewitched by Patagonia though I have never travelled there—Just a place in my Imagination Hall of Fame. It has become sort of a personal benchmark. Will I get there? When?</span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "> <img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/5e72fcaeadaaf35153b1797eeb594e423e953a14/medium/Patagonia.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="241" width="300" /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; ">I wrote the song <i>Patagonia</i> sometime around 1980. I had been reading Antonio Pigafetta’s journal notes from Magellan’s circumnavigation and his mention of Patagonia provoked me. (The Europeans thought that there were giants living in Patagonia.) Magellan is purported to have given the area its name using the word Patagon, which apparently refers to a big foot. Those big-footed giants. This is according to the author of the classic,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><i> In Patagonia,</i> Bruce Chatwin. He also relates stories of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid while they were holed up in the region.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "> Another brief yet interesting account of Patagonia is from Charles Darwin’s <i>The Voyage of The Beagle</i>. </span>
</div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "> <br>
With this song I attempted to write something both majestic and full of longing. Something with facts and fantasy.    <br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/1883448f7f0f923176c328c7bf48f1a557543eea/medium/P1040435.JPG?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="169" width="300" /><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; ">
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "> When my daughter was still a little weezer, Kathleen Zacharias (a sometimes Geckette pictured below) created a surreal painting for her of green elephants playing weird instruments on a beach. <i>Icthyoid Jam.</i> 1982. The painting was inspired by the 3rd verse of the song. What inspired me to include green elephants on the shores of Patagonia? Couldn't tell you.</span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "><i>And the elephants are green</i></span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "><i>And they’re playin’ on the beach</i></span></div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "><i>On the beach on the beach on the beach</i></span></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><u><br></u></span></div>
</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; "><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; font-size: 12px; ">
<div> </div>
</span>Recording History</u><br>
There exists a lost Barking Geckos recording of <i>Patagonia</i> from 1982, however, all that is left is a 45 second snippet on the cult classic television show <b><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 0); "></span></b></span><b><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 0); "><i><a href="http://blip.tv/file/4543690"><span style="font-size: medium; ">Not For Chowderheads</span></a></i></span></b><span style="font-size: medium; ">.</span>
</div>
<div><span style="font-size: medium; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/6d60452e6eaf5637f03526cbb564a69a4c7c4ab4/medium/geckettes.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="379" width="300" /><br><i><span style="font-size: small; ">Geckettes (from left) Kathleen, Mary, Ardys</span></i><br><br>
The studio version of <i>Patagonia</i> (available below for free download) was cut at Studio Chicago in the mid to late 90s. I can’t recall all of the players. Chuck Kawal did engineer/mix. I played acoustic guitar. Dave Allen on piano. A De Paul music major played the cello. Heather McCarragher (her name at the time) was one of the female vocalists. Kim Wilkins might have been the other. Randy Riley on bass? Drums: Glenn? Greg? Raul?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; "> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "> </span>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: medium; ">After you have listened to the studio cut, check out a UTK version of </span><i><a href="/files/38133/patagoniaLiveUTK4_14_07-2.m4a"><span style="font-size: medium; ">Patagonia</span></a></i><span style="font-size: medium; "> from a 4/14/07 gig at Gallery Cabaret. A drunken plumber at the show told me it was the most moving song he had ever witnessed at The Gallery. Give it a listen after hearing the studio version.<br></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><br type="_moz"></span>
</div>
  <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">©Roger Bain. 1980-2011. </span> <!--EndFragment--></div>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/94296/chairman-mao">Chairman Mao</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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  <div class="message"><span style="font-size: medium; ">This musing is about the song, <i>Chairman Mao</i>.<br><br>
I have been to China but once and have read a total of one intriguing book about Mao Tse-Tung, <i>Mao—The Unknown Story</i> by Jung Chang. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Geneva; "><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/00641785d570b4fd3eab3f6432b55b3ee2c55f9f/thumb/51J38ATFKVL_SL500_AA300.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="125" width="125" /><br></span><span style="font-size: medium; ">This hardly makes me an authority on Chairman Mao. But it does give me enough material for a song. <br><br>
 For me, travel and books are two repeating catalysts for song inspiration. <i>Chairman Mao</i> has used both. <br><br>
The guitar style for the song is closest to Mississippi John Hurt. The overall feel is closer to a nursery rhyme. The lyrics are directed right at the Chairman. His policies caused death, starvation and inspired family and friends to rat each other out in the name of revolutionary zeal. <br>
A song can powerfully convey an idea or a philosophy. It can be factual but it is not a powerpoint presentation or a book report. A song is poetry. Imagery, melody, repetition, rhyme, a turn of phrase. A beat.<!--StartFragment--> </span>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium; ">The key to <i>Chairman Mao</i>, the song, is the juxtaposition of the refrain—<i>how many people did you kill today</i>—with the bouncy feel of the music. Many died as a result of the Chairman’s policies. You could write a dirge-like song about Mao. Or you could write this.<br><br>
I recorded this at my office with Chuck Kawal at the helm. Chuck told me that it became a favorite of his young son who was about three at the time. He liked the beat and the sound and it was easy for him to sing the opening line of each verse. It never occurred to me to compose a tune for three year-olds about a deceased Chinese dictator. But often when you write a song you aren't sure who you will connect with or why. Unless you wrote at the Brill Building or Motown in the 60s. Those writers knew who would dig their songs. Everybody.<br><br>
It is possible that a Chinese songwriter could write a song about George Washington's ownership of slaves and this might offend American sensibilities. But if it had a good beat, three year-olds might dig it.</span><span style="font-family: Geneva; "><br></span><span style="font-family: Geneva; "> <br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/f166d584e7753b4f7f72fab26266ac73d7099230/original/3147915-thumb.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="131" width="175" /><br><span style="font-size: smaller; "><i>Mao casts his gaze toward Tiananmen Square</i></span><span style="font-size: small; "></span><br><br><br><br><p></p></span></p>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/94078/a-rock-a-stone-a-stick-and-a-bone">A Rock a Stone a Stick and a Bone</a>&nbsp;<span class='reset-font'>&nbsp;<span class="podcast"><img src="//assets-app-production-pubnet.bndzgl.com/assets/usersites/podcast-ff0f451d9e650aa49c1c887f1b4eab6655e151de0aba4c11a992f6637163c058.png" /></span></span>
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  <div class="message"><span style="font-size: medium; ">The evolution of tools is great song fodder. But what isn't? There are songs everywhere you look. <br><br>
This song, A Rock a Stone a Stick and a Bone, came about because I was producing Tool TV, a television program that reviewed and recommended modern tools for the building and construction trades. Berland's House of Tools, with three convenient locations in the Greater Chicago area, was Tool TV's retail participant and also a long time client of mine. </span><br><a href="/files/2039/ttvopen-redo.mov"><span style="font-size: small; "><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/be009dd89b4f540d002729b87a387567627d6029/original/ToolTVlogo.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="109" width="200" /></span></a><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">When I first got the Berland's account I showed two creative concepts to owners Dwight Sherman and his dad Dave Sherman. The first concept was a series of testimonials from contractors and other tool users proclaiming what an amazing tool store Berland's is! <br><br>
The other concept featured a caveman as the iconical first human user of tools. The idea: a caveman or woman picked up a rock to scrape a hyde and since then, tools have been evolving. Berland's is where tools have evolved. And Tool TV is where we demonstrated the evolution.<br><br>
(Looking back to 1993, it was still a time when something could evolve. Evolution wasn't a controversial concept. Most people accepted it.)<br><br>
Anyway, I produced a series of 30 second TV spots for Berland's using licensed, grainy, black &amp; white footage from some crazy 1930s film short depicting a couple of cavemen in the act of inventing the wheel.<br>
When in 1994 we decided to do a half hour television program called Tool TV,  I knew that a caveman needed to become the frequent mascot within the show. </span><br><img src="//images.zoogletools.com/u/51187/6417ecd21da93759c4127202e3548e277549c1cb/medium/cavemenwithtools.jpg?1378181223" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="173" width="300" /><br><span style="font-size: medium; ">In 1997 I wrote and recorded A Rock a Stone a Stick and a Bone. The song idea came from my own ad copy that I used in those first Berland's television spots:<br><i>23,000 years ago<br>
Man's only tools were....a rock a stone a stick and a bone<br></i> <br>
Listen below. Hope you enjoy. Kids seem to love this chorus.<br>
Some great guitar work and engineer/mix by Chuck Kawal. Recorded at Chicago Trax.<br>
Illustration below by the incomparable John Eggert (R.I.P.)<br>
Many thanks to the best client I ever had, Dwight Sherman.</span><br><br><br type="_moz"><object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/q0R-Vt2Zb9Q?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US">
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